*This article is NOT sponsored by Tinder
After realizing Montreal was out of options (thanks to COVID-19), I confided in a friend who then suggested me to go rogue and venture internationally. How on earth would I be able to do that whilst living in a province where restrictions are the strictest, would you ask? Simple. Get on your phone, open Tinder airlines, get your passport ready and choose your location before boarding - I mean swiping.
You've just booked a flight? Perfect, just head on over to security check.
What's the purpose of your trip? Business or leisure?
Imagine this, you match with someone, you guys exchange for a bit and you now see those three little dots ready to uncover the infamous "What are you looking for here?" bomb. Normally I would eye roll the sh*t out of this (I'd say 8 out of 10 times, the guy usually responds... "yeah, I'm not looking for anything serious", coolio !) but technically, the dude has a point. What's my endgame? Here's what I've come up with and honestly... I stand by it.
* I'm prepared to add disappointment to that list - But usually, I'd say it's the only way I could travel, from my couch...
Think of it this way, if you're swiping with the intent of visiting that said-city in the future once we're not plagued by a virus, doesn't hurt to do some recon. You might get a friend out of this experience, even a casual fling, or perhaps you'll find your prince charming. Who knows?
Now that we've established this important piece of information, please make your way to your gate and enjoy the flight. Before we take off, the flight attendants are about to make an announcement, so buckle your seatbelt and remain seated during the following:
Don't be scared to start the conversation
To be honest, I've never been one to wait for a guy to start the conversation. Could be the casual and boring "hey" or elaborate gif to a glorious pickup line. When in doubt, here's my go-to option.
But I've gotta say, this made me laugh and I didn't hate it.
Swipe within your time zone
I mean, if you're swiping late at night in Montreal or anywhere on the East Coast, for sure Europeans will be in dreamland by then. That being said, optimize your chances of actually talking to someone by swiping in a time zone where people are normally awake and going about their day. You're a globetrotter... don't forget. So trot away darling.
Get ready to be haunted by Snapchat
Apparently, Snapchat is a hot commodity abroad
Oh lord! Why? How? Listen, pal, I'm all for social media but here my friend, you'd be branded as a creep who sends d*ck pics to some 20-year-olds... I just can't...
Did I succumb to downloading this app again... DEFINITELY!
Have I received unsolicited d*ck pics since Snapchat is now back on my phone... OF COURSE!
Do I regret it... I'M STILL DEBATING ON THE TOPIC since some of the prospects are steering clear of those unwanted surprises. To be continued...
This may not be Snapchat related, but you can sense he's gonna drop his SC handle shortly.
Voice messages are truly a gift from the gods
Whether it's on Instagram, Whatsapp, Facebook, or the godforsaken Snapchat... hearing that foreign accent is worth all the trouble in the world.
Now that we went over the security measures, here's a preview of the specimen that awaits on the other side of your screen if you end up traveling to the places I've visited over the last few weeks...
I may have binged watched Outlander and became a tad obsessed with Scottish lads, so sue me. I don't know if I've found my Jamie Fraser, however it has reenforced my will to visit Scotland in the future. Also... Expect a parade of kilts and plaids... Basically, the fisherman version of Quebec dudes hands down. I mean, are you even a Scot if you don't own a kilt?
Also, what's up with this haircut? Can someone please explain?
I guess I like cute accents... But even with just that, two things always popped up.
Bigger Fish to fry
I swear those fish photos will put Quebec boys to shame... I'm actually impressed.
The usual: a perfect tan, beach hair curls, lives in a van, does yoga... meh.
Ah, Americans. A find species. Honestly, after a few cities, I got bored. From country music, fish pictures that are no way as good as those Aussies prospects, and gun photos... it was underwhelming. Pass.
Living during a lockdown with a wonderful curfew has put things in perspective. Since we cannot physically meet people here or be out after a certain hour, might as well have a pen pal. Want some Jane Austen sh*t, well girl, now's the time! I can honestly say I've had great conversations and fun by doing this experiment. Not only it was a cultural exchange, but I'll be able to call some of these guys friends and perhaps visit them in the future. As stated before, it could go either way: from making friends, to flings or even finding your special someone... it didn't hurt to swipe further than your regular 30 km radius.
PS: PROTECT THIS GUY AT ALL COST IF HE GOES TO TIMMIES